


Heart in Hand, I Know Your Worth

by snowbellewells



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowbellewells/pseuds/snowbellewells
Summary: This is really just a divergence from 4x11, having Emma get Killian's heart back herself and allowing for a lot more CaptainSwan-centric drama and action. (I really thought we deserved that in that particular episode!)Emma decides she isn't losing one more person she loves... not if there's anything she can do about it!
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Emma Swan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Heart in Hand, I Know Your Worth

**Author's Note:**

> In the aftermath of that doozy of a two hour midseason finale back in season four, I had all kinds of ideas rolling around in my head for all the other ways that Killian’s heart being taken could have played out, along with thinking that Emma fighting to get his heart back could have gotten more time. I still don't own these two characters, or anything related to the show; if I did we would definitely have seen a powerful True Love's Kiss.

**_"Heart in Hand, I Know Your Worth"_ **

_ by: @snowbellewells _

  
  
  
  


This cannot be real, cannot be happening again. Another man she loves – yes, loves – falling to the cold, hard floor of the Sheriff's station, clutching his chest, mouth gaping in a struggle for breath, eyes already going half-glassy from their usually crisp, brilliant blue.

"Killian!" Emma chokes, falling to his side and reaching for him, forcing herself not to scream. His body stretches out before her limply, looking too much like Graham's had nearly three years ago, too much like the horrifying death pose seared into her mind's eye, no matter how much time has passed. She wants to ask what is wrong, but is petrified that she doesn't need to; she knows exactly what is happening to her pirate. There had been nothing she could do when she was in this position before, and this is so much worse, so much more desperately necessary.

As she reaches out to shake Killian, gripping his shoulders with frantic hands, begging him to stay with her, stay awake, her eyes fall on the shoelace wrapped around her wrist – her reminder of the gentle, kind man who had died in her arms in this same station – and tears well over her eyelids, spilling down her cheeks to fall on Killian's paling face. Those lovely, kissable lips that have always been so soft and tenderly coaxing on hers are open, panting, as he struggles to form her name, his one good hand clasping hers to pull her closer where she can hear his desperately whispered words. "Em-Emma…Love, I'm sorry…I k-know I promised…you d-didn't have to w-worry…I m-may not be as g-good at…surviving…as I p-promised. The Crocodile…has m-made sure of it…this time…"

Emma can feel her brow furrowing, leaning nearer and clutching at the material of his black vest, as if to lug him up off the floor and back into the fight for life. "Hey," she whispers hoarsely near his ear, wanting to shake him as she sees his eyes fluttering closed despite his best efforts. "Killian, hey, stay with me."

His stunning eyes labor to open again, trying to focus on her, though it is obviously an uphill battle. His breath is rattling harshly, bringing sympathetic pain to Emma's throat as he continues to fight for air. Her hand presses warmly to his chest, wishing she could hold the missing heart in place, even though she is too late.

Tears are pouring, slip-sliding down her cheeks, and Emma knows the pain clenching in her gut is only going to get worse if she cannot stop this. She knows Killian has done the best he can to be with her, to become a better man for her, but all she can think is,  _ 'You promised! You promised you'd stay if I let you in. I can't lose you too!' _

She finds herself fisting her hand and pounding it against his chest repeatedly, despite her worry for him; she has to let out the hurt and fear. Her forehead falls to rest against the warm, furred skin of his chest, his ridiculously still-open shirt, allowing the blessing of his living comfort a bit longer. It is going to be taken away, he is going to leave her, and all because some power-hungry imp wants her magic as well and to settle an old grudge. All Killian has done to change. All he has given up to protect her is illustrated in his dying form sprawled before her. He has sacrificed the very heart in his chest just to warn her, in hopes of seeing her still alive and unharmed.

"Why didn't you tell me, Killian? Let me try to help you? We could have figured this out together." She whispers the words tearfully against his neck, into his skin. She wants answers, knows she will debate and wonder and wish from now on – why he didn't feel he could come to her, why she had taken so long to trust him, why she hadn't let him know how much she truly felt for him, that she had done something, anything, different to avoid him suffering this fate. Beyond that though, she wants to hear him, savor his voice, the cozy, affectionate burr of it as it thaws her long-cold heart.

Killian manages to draw yet one more ragged, shaky breath to respond. "How…could I…Love? What would…you have…thought of me…if I had?" He clumsily manages to snag her wrist and pull that hand to lie along his cheek, turning his face into her touch. "Besides…though I do not…wish to…leave you…I will gladly go…before I see…that monster…take you from me."

His eyes drift closed again, his struggle for breath eases, and Emma feels his body relax against hers. Praying he isn't gone already, a strangled scream finally escapes her when he doesn't respond to her further touches. "Killian, no! Please!"

"I'm afraid you're wasting your breath, Dearie," a taunting voice chortles evilly behind her. A chill runs down Emma's spine before anger floods her, rushing into every space where she could feel fear. Her head whips around to glare over her shoulder at Gold, every fiber of her burning to blast the smug, victoriously gloating smile off his face.

Letting that emotion swell, Emma gathers her feet under her, shifting to stand and face Killian's Crocodile. As if he senses the risk she is about to take, the way she is letting her fury overrule her caution, her pirate tries to pull her back, though too weakened to truly hold her. "Don't, Swan! I'm not worth your crossing him!"

Emma shakes her head angrily, wanting to argue with him that he is more than worth it, but she doesn't want him expending any more of his desperately needed breath. Instead, she pulls her hand from his slackening grip and completes her stand to face Gold. Literally vibrating, rage sparks and begins to tingle under her skin and through her veins. "I am  _ not _ letting you do this," she grits out between clenched teeth, eyes narrowed and tone practically a growl.

"Please do try to stop me, Miss Swan," the pawnbroker, who is more and more Dark One all the time, challenges, the thin veneer of polite civility no longer masking the hatred beneath the surface. He stands before them, hands resting atop the head of his ornate cane, feet planted, stance wide. "I do intend to put an end to this wretched pirate's life once and for all, as I should have done ages ago, and then I shall have your powers before I go."

Emma doesn't answer, but focuses instead on the advice, the incantation that Regina had given her to combat their now-common enemy. She had needed him present before she could attempt her counterattack, and now that he is, she can't afford mistakes. Closing her eyes, and quickly raising her hands up and outward towards the spinner, Emma tries to whisper the correct words, while concentrating on Killian, his love for her and how she cannot do without him, how much she needs him, and what she hopes to accomplish, all before Rumplestiltskin reacts and stops her.

The air around them whooshes with magic, as a raw burst of power seems to roll out from between she and Gold, then fades again. There is an eerie silence for mere moments, before Emma feels a separate, living pulse in her hand. She opens her eyes with almost breathless hope, and there within her careful grasp is Killian's beating heart, glowing brightly red.

Her glare flicks back to the Crocodile, even as she casts a protection spell over Killian's heart, much like the one Regina protected Henry's with after getting it back from Pan. Once she returns it to his chest, they will not suffer this again, not while she draws breath.

Gold lets out a bloodcurdling giggle, which sounds frighteningly mad rather than the least bit humored. It is as though her strike against him was an invitation to a deadly game. He throws his hands forward in what Emma is sure will be a horrific curse. Before it can reach them, she has created a shield and thrown it up in front of them. She sees a ripple in the translucent barrier before her eyes, but her spell holds, keeping whatever the Dark One has attempted to strike them with at bay.

"All to save that miserable cur's hide!" Gold howls with rage. "You will regret this!" He waves his hand wildly, and then vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Once sure that he is gone, Emma falls to her knees at Killian's side again, letting the shield fall and focusing all her energy and attention on this reckless, infuriating, incredible man, having to believe he still has a chance. She runs her hand back through the dark shock of hair that has fallen across his brow, stroking trembling fingers over his forehead and cheeks, then down to his neck, hoping for a pulse. The exertion flagging from expending so much magic, the fear and anxiety, and now the frantic need to bring Killian back around, are taking their toll, but she cannot falter now.

Holding Killian's heart gingerly in her palm, barely using any pressure with her fingers, Emma moves it to hover above the area of his chest where it belongs. Killian barely stirs, and Emma knows there isn't time to waste. There has already been too much torture – squeezing, manhandling, whatever else Gold has done to it – but uncertainty makes her hesitate. Could she finish him off if she gets this wrong?

Breathily, the barest words escape his lips, soft and low, but enough to give her the push she needs. His chest barely rises and falls, but Killian manages to force the words out, "You…can do this…Emma. I…trust you…"

She nods, setting her resolve, and then without any further lingering, plunges her hand and his beating heart into his chest cavity. Praying it will be enough, Emma releases the organ and withdraws her hand, willing things to return to the way they were before it was taken. Sitting back on her haunches, Emma watches his face tensely for some sign.

Endless, stretching minutes seem to drag on before Killian suddenly lunges forward, drawing in huge gulps of air, eyes frantically wide. She quickly reaches around him, hand supporting at his back though she can feel herself trembling with relief and emotion. She wants to ask a dozen things at once, but Emma bits them all back, trying to first let him regain his bearings.

When Killian finally blinks and looks to her with recognition once more in his haunting gaze, Emma swallows a sob and can't help leaning forward, half wrapping him up and cradling him in her arms and half falling into his. Soon, she is letting her eyes fall closed, a sigh escaping her lips as her adrenaline drains and the curve of Killian's hook rubs soothingly up and down her back, his voice warm in her ear. "There now, Love. I'm still here…thanks to you. Bloody brilliant you are, Swan."

Sniffling, Emma nods into his shoulder, burrowing closer to his warmth, craving the contact. "You can't do that to me, Killian," she chokes out. "If you think I don't need you, that I'll be fine whether you're here or not, you're wrong. You _ are _ worth it. You mean more to me than anyone outside of Henry." She leans back only slightly to look into his eyes and be sure that he sees how seriously she means her words.

Her pirate captain appears to have no ready response to her admission, but the volumes in his eyes show how overcome he is as she watches him swallow hard, mastering his own churning emotion. "You must know you mean everything to me as well, Emma. We might have to agree to disagree on my worth." He wets his lips, gaze tentative under his dark brows as he studies her face. "You retrieved my heart. You defeated the bloody Crocodile! …But you took quite the risk, Love. A risk I would not have had you take merely for my benefit. Are you alright?"

A laugh escapes her that is tear-soaked and a bit hysterical, but real, and she clasps his hand firmly. "I am now, Captain," she avows. "Let's keep that heart of yours in your chest from now on, and things should be just fine."

His roughly calloused fingers rise to delicately brush a flyaway strand of golden hair from her cheek and tuck it behind her ear, and then he lets his hand linger to frame her face with his palm. "What a beautiful avenging angel you make, Swan. I would never have thought a princess would be fighting to save me." Leaning forward, Killian pauses only when his nose brushes hers, warm puffs of his breath heating her skin. "Truly, Lass…You are a marvel."

Emma shakes her head, flushing and embarrassed at the effusive praise. "Enough of your pretty words, Sailor," she mutters, even if good naturedly. Standing, she never breaks her connection to him at their entwined hands, but instead pulls him rather shakily to his feet. "Come on, let's not hang around here like sitting ducks. Gold isn't finished, just regrouping. And I want Regina to have a look at you; make sure things are okay with your heart now."

Killian dips his head in acquiescence, his gaze not leaving hers, as though searching to see if she has recovered, despite his being the one who was in danger. "As you wish," he murmurs, moving to the coat rack and holding her red leather jacket out for her as she slips her arms into the sleeves.

She smiles at him over her shoulder, the tears still shimmering on her lashes, but a pride and happiness beginning to sparkle in her green eyes. They cross the room before Emma turns out the lights and locks the station for the night. Moving towards her little yellow car, Emma suddenly pulls him up short, holding him with her stare. "I should have told you this much sooner," she whispers, her voice suspiciously raspy, "but I love you, Killian Jones. Whatever happens from here on, no matter what either of us do…I love you. And don't you forget it."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Emma drags Killian's face down to kiss him urgently; swallowing his 'I love you too'. She already knows. Has seen it in all he has given up for her, has felt it in every hopeful, guiding, sheltering touch, and has heard it in every endearment and 'as you wish'. His hand and hook come up around her back to hold her, and he sighs into her kiss in contentment.

When they do part, Emma sees the peace and fulfillment on his face as she pulls him along rather than relinquishing her hold of his hand; her heart swells at not letting go.


End file.
